Tag Archives: life

10 things really happy people do

24th May 2013

I have a thing for smiling incessantly, I’m certain it annoys someone somewhere. Jeff Hilimire wrote a blind post this week entitled “15 things you should give up to be happy,” and boy is it a day maker, that guy really has a knack for telling people like it is, in a fantastically contagious way. He encouraged myself and Drew Hawkins, a former coworker and also one of the most positive people I know, to do the same and write a blind post of our own on the topic.

But then, multiple Facebook friends shared this with me:

And I couldn’t help but dwell on this line:

Life is really simple, all you have to do is try to make people happy.

Since I already cheated on Jeff’s challenge, having read and commented on his post, I’ve reworked the topic a bit. In no particular order, 10 things really happy people do (myself included, most of the time).

1. They give up the naysayers: Don’t let someone else’s negativity drag you down. One of my all time favorite quotes comes from Marcus Aurelius, ““If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” It’s your decision to let other effect you, not theirs.

2. They find people who challenge them: I’m going to brag for just a second here because I know he doesn’t read my blog often, but the best thing about my boyfriend of six years is his ability to push me to do more. He is one of the few people I know who constantly encourages me to step out of my comfort zone and lets me know in 100% honesty when I can do better. I appreciate that more than he will ever know. Find people who challenge you to become a better you, because you won’t get there on your own.

3. They work to become better people, not just work to produce great results: There’s a difference here and it comes down to the execution. Yes, results matter, but relationships matter more. Follow your passion and you’ll find the results fall into place over time.

4. They take breaks: I’m honestly the WORST at this one, but working on it. Take time to stop and chat with coworkers, find time to go to lunch, then find ways to prioritize and maximize the rest of your day to still be productive. Rest doesn’t always mean wasted time.

5. They eat cupcakes: OK, so maybe it doesn’t have to be a cupcake, maybe you really love apples. For me, it’s almost always a cupcake. Take time for sweet indulgences, whether is a treat, a reality TV show or a made for TV movie, when you feel the guilt closing every once in a while, shove it away.

6. They have animals: If you are having a bad day, just head to the animal shelter (or here). If I can love something 0.1% as much as my dog loves me someday, I’ll have succeeded.

7. They are never the most important person in the room: I have a client who has an incredible knack for this one. He is high in the ranks at one of Atlanta’s most well-known companies, has been in this business for many more years than myself and is undoubtedly smarter, but he always makes me feel like an equal. Stay humble and empower the people around you to be great.

8. They exercise: You don’t have to be a runner. Be a walker. Be a dancer. Just be something. Endorphins aren’t just made for movies, they are real and your mental and physical health will thank you.

9. They worry less: I’m a self proclaimed worry-wort in recovery. You can read more on that here, but whenever the stress creeps in, just reminder yourself, stressing about a situation will not change the outcome, only action will.

10. Lastly, if I haven’t convinced you to turn your day around and you really don’t think you can mange a smile, bookmark this, I refer to it weekly.

What have I missed? Would you add or take anything away from this list?

10 Ways to Take Control of Your Career Now

7th March 2013

If only it were that easy...but it sure is pretty. Source.

If only it were that easy…but it sure is pretty. Buy this guy

You might have noticed an uptick in my thoughts around careers, leadership and purpose in the past few months. I’ll let you in on a little secret, this week, I wrapped up a six month women-only leadership program. And it was awesome.

I’ve been incredibly blessed in my short career to have been surrounded by awesome bosses, friends and mentors. However, around a year ago, I started noticing a gap. I needed, for lack of a better description, girl talk. Because let’s be honest, as much as I’d love to tell you that all is equal between boys and girls, it’s not. We are different creatures and to no surprise, sometimes we just need someone to share that with.

Enter Pathbuilders. I’ll save my elevator pitch on the program itself for another post, but after one such conversation on life and careers with a leader in my life and my need for something different, he asked me to check it out. After ten minutes on the phone, I was sold.

Six months and many, many mentor conversations later, here I am. So what did I learn? A lot.

My top 10 biggest takeaways:

  1. Bosses aren’t mind readers. If you want something, you have to ask for it. Be vocal and make your feelings and desires known.
  2. No one is more invested in your career than you. Invest in it now. Spend time making Rory Gilmore style pro-cons lists. Figure out what you want to accomplish tomorrow, next year and in 10 years from now. It doesn’t have to be right, but start thinking about it.
  3. Leaders aren’t made by being the loudest one in the room, leadership starts with listening.
  4. Be. Confident. Be confident in who you are, how you speak and how you present yourself. Only you own you. As Tim Gunn would say, make it work.
  5. Money matters, job descriptions matter, clients matter, but culture trumps them all. At the end of the day, you want to love who you work with and where you spend your time. Money ain’t gonna buy you happiness after a 50+ hour work week.
  6. But…do know your worth. Network, get to know others in your field, learn your strengths and where you can improve. I love my job, but that does not mean I should ever stop keeping an eye out for what everyone around me is doing. It’s not only good for my position, but strengthens my value to my employer as well.
  7. Take your emotion out of the meeting. This is a tough one for me. I’m a pretty passionate person, and I’d be lying if I told you I hadn’t cried at work before. However, this piece of advice is one I have certainly put into action. Make decisions and conversations around facts first, feelings second. Anyone can rebuttal the “I think” moment, they cannot do the same when you share results.
  8. No results + excuses = no results. Manage others’ expectations and then exceed them. Spend your time finding solutions, not telling everyone the problem.
  9. Give and ask for feedback, and do it often. We can’t expect to improve without open, honest dialogue. You should never wait until an annual review to find out if you are succeeding.
  10. Enjoy the ride. No one has it all figured out. We are all human. It’s OK to not know where you want to be in 10 years from now. The important part is actively working towards it.

I honestly wish every single women starting her career had the opportunity to experience such a program, but just like those post-college graduation realizations, the experiences count beyond the classroom. Go out there and do something about it.