I need a mentor. Now what?

4th August 2013

mentorIt rings as if it were some nonchalant item on a twenty-something’s harping to-do list: find a mentor. But as with everything “grown up,” this is another must-have that doesn’t arrive in a neatly packaged chapter in the “how to grow up without messing it all up” manual.

In my head, I almost even picture this mystery person as if she were Professor McGonagall (guilty Harry Potter reference). Or as if this is someone you ask out on a date or sorts and at the end of the night, pop a along the lines of question of “will you help answer all of life’s mysteries for some elusive career advancement?” Shockingly, that’s not real life.

I’ve been incredibly grateful to have several wonderful people I happily call mentors cross my path over the past few years, and I hope someday I’ll be able to give the same advice and guidance in return.

So what should I look for in a mentor?

It probably starts with the people you work with. One of my biggest cheerleaders was a colleague who always had a open door. During my first few years at Engauge, I spent hours in her office each week, trading ideas, asking questions and having her explain how she reached client-related conclusions. Did she hand over the keys to success in a pretty blue box? No. Did she push me to be more confident and trusting of my own work? Yes. Did she make me smarter in the process? Absolutely.

Find your cheerleaders. Someone who will cheer you on and build up your expertise, not through questioning alone, but as a partnership.

Don’t be afraid to step outside of your industry. A mentor isn’t always someone who understands your lingo or speaks in the same client acronyms. Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to participate in a women-only leadership program and it was phenomenal. Read more on that here. The most valuable pieces of the program however were the PEER mentorship opportunities. You can be a lawyer, working in manufacturing, or advertising, but you most likely have many of the same questions, the same doubts and the same what-ifs when it comes to managing a career.

Find people who don’t simply get your work, but who also get you. Sometimes a “the same thing happened to me” conversation can be the best support manual there is.

The real secret magic fairy dust? It starts with friendship. In reality, a mentorship shouldn’t be a formal program of sorts for the next few decades, it should be a mutual relationship and it probably starts with a cup of coffee (or in my case, hot chocolate). Finding someone you are comfortable with both personally and professionally, though rare, is insurmountable. When it comes time to ask for advice, you want someone on your side who not only gets your resume, but also gets you for who you are, not the job description you have in hand.

Find someone who you can trust to value more than just your job. Finding someone that remarkable might even feel like winning the lottery.

In the end, there isn’t some magic formula. There isn’t a mentor dating service. There are only the people you surround yourself with, the relationships you develop, and like everything else, we have to seek to build those relationships one day at a time.

PS that leadership program? They are enrolling for the fall class currently, check it out.

Celebrating the Rainy Summer Days

27th July 2013

It has been one wet, muggy and downright gross summer here in Atlanta, but as with any rain, there are always sweet rainbows to follow, or better yet, skies like these.

The other plus side is mud. Yes, the kind five-year-old boys usually go giddy over, however, this summer I’ve joined that club too. I don’t think it’s a secret by this point that I take any time outdoors that I can get. Living in Atlanta vs. let’s say Breckenridge, it sometimes seems that groomed parks or urban trails might be the best we can do for a little spin with mother nature. And although I do love those places, it is the muddy, gritty, root-filled trails that make my heart sing. Surprisingly, Atlanta is filled with those paths too.

fog on the river

This summer’s weather has lead P and I to get a little more creative with our post-work hiking outings. It has lead us to not so well marked cliff-side trail detours (which also led to a LOT of chigger bites. Gross), afternoon canoeing adventures when the well-versed option for a tubing trip was squashed thanks to too high (and too bacteria filled) water, and most recently it has lead me to try my hand at mountain biking (try being the key word here).

I came home from today’s biking adventure a little sore, covered in Georgia red clay (my shins may now be stained in red streaks), feeling slightly accomplished, and excited to tackle it all over again.

Sometimes when mother nature throws you a few too many cloudy monsoon days, the best thing to do is to get out, explore and embrace all she has to offer. Just be sure to pack a towel and an extra pair of Chacos. That’s what washing machines are for after all.

vida after river

Summer, let’s call this my official plea to never, ever leave. Unless you want to take a short break for October, but then come right back now, ya hear?

 

Have a Little Faith

8th July 2013

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

The ever so wise words of Dr. Meredith Grey, that Shonda Rhimes sure is on to something here. Faith really is a funny little thing. It may be in God, in Buddah, in your parents, in some unknown being in the sky, but one thing remains true: if you want to make it through the rainy days, you better have a little Faith in someone or something that is bigger than yourself.

Faith is the confidence to trust that it will all work out and that the plan for tomorrow is beyond your own control. It’s the fact that although it rained the past five days, and we thought we might go mildly insane from a lack of outdoorsy-ness, we survive. And then this shows up (well the sky, of course).

Let your faith be bigger than your fear

Could there possibly be a sweeter reminder? Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the details of the day-to-day, or worse still let the details dictate the day. There will always be bad meetings, searching for the perfect place to call home that takes too long, coworkers and family members that drive you batty, but it’s reminding ourselves that those details all come together to write the most perfect endings that counts.

So OK, Big Guy, you win. I suppose you do know why we all need a little rain, a little rest and a little cotton candy in the sky to bring it all back into perspective.